I used the sin of another man as a convenient excuse to live like hell.
Happy Birthday to one of our newest residents! After holding on to the trauma and shame of her wayward past, she shares a letter she wrote about a revelation she has had since being in our program. It is both beautiful and inspiring:
"I think I'm slowly having a revelation. I say slowly because these thoughts have been pieced together over the past week in fragments, but now I'm starting to see the bigger picture. I'd like to share my revelation with you all. Yes, Mr. Garcia molested me. He was a sinful man who got his pleasure from molesting little kids. That sin is on him and he'll either have to surrender to Jesus or burn in hell forever for it.
God did not hurt me; Mr. Garcia did. God is not evil for allowing me to suffer evil. I may never know why the Lord let me go through that, but I can trust that He is good and He won't let any of my pain be wasted. I was listening to a Lecrae rap song, and he answered the question why doesn't God stop all evil in the world. In short, Lecrae said that I'm asking the wrong question: why hasn't God let ME feel the full consequences of my sin? God is all-powerful and has the capacity to eliminate all evil, but that begs the question: what is evil? Evil is anything against God from lying, cheating, and pride, to murder, rape, and molesting children. If I want God to stop evil, do I want him to stop it all or just a little bit of it? If God stopped all evil, that means I would be eliminated because I'm a sinner, too.
Although I was a victim, I'm not innocent. I, too, am a sinner who deserves to burn in hell. No, I haven't molested children, but I have committed other sins which separate me from the Holy God. I'm not any better than Mr. Garcia and I need God's forgiveness just as much as Mr. Garcia needs God's forgiveness. I used the sin of another man as a convenient excuse to live like hell while insisting that God's love is just a sham.
My biggest need is not justice but forgiveness.
Please pray for me as I begin to wrap my head around this new reality. Specifically, please pray that my self-pity would be replaced with humility before a good and holy God.
Your sister in Christ,
Praise God for the work He is doing in her heart: exposing the painful parts and washing them away under the lense of Christ! If you know any women struggling with addiction, they can fill out and submit our online application.